“I feel like I’m in their shoes,” I would say to my mom when I was a young girl. I have always been able to feel other people’s emotions and physical ailments as my own, and have empathy for them. With three older brothers, I was taught to stay tough; vulnerability was a weakness. I learned how to stifle my emotions early. There were times when I felt like I was going to explode, so I would dance the feelings away in the secrecy of my room. Dance became my way to release stress. Music became my medicine; movement my therapy.
I grew up enjoying playing soccer and snowboarding. I was living a physical existence and put up armour around my heart to protect my emotional self. When a person does this, not only does the mind suffer, the body does too. I didn’t listen to mine. Instead I pushed it to the extreme. Then one day I woke up in the hospital from a snowboarding accident with concussion not knowing my name.
Thankfully I regained my memory and after many surgeries I began my road to recovery. Looking back, my accident marked the beginning of a domino effect of one tragic event after another. Within one year I had seven friends die from different tragedies and didn’t have the tools to manage the trauma I felt. I starting numbing myself with drinking and drugs. I met a few professional dancers in a club, and started taking their dance classes, which ignited my love for dance and brought me so much joy.
I had dreams to dance professionally, but didn’t view that as a valid career. So I went to University because at least I could make my parents happy. I was starting to experience severe and constant chronic stomach pain, but didn’t once think to slow down to take care of myself. I pushed on through wanting to complete what I started. Then lo and behold, after graduation I found out I had cancer. I was 22 years old. My wake up call. You see until then I had always viewed myself as healthy because I was athletic. It turns out I was wrong.
From everything that was going on, I was feeling really stressed. I went to a spa and had a heavenly massage from an Indian man with a thick accent and sparkly eyes. Feeling my tightly knitted body he recommended yoga to me. At this time yoga wasn’t as popular as it is now, but I thanked him and went on my way. Bizarrely, I returned the following week for a second massage because my body benefited so much from the first. I asked for this magical Indian man but nobody had a clue who I was talking about whatsoever...Do you believe in angels?
That encounter, whether a dream or reality, definitely sparked my interest to try yoga. My gym had started offering it, so tried it and remember thinking it was a lazy person’s workout. Still I wasn’t even sure what it was at this point. Time passed and I was living life like a robot on auto-pilot. Then a yoga studio opened next door, so I decided to give yoga another try. And this time it was an experience that changed my life.
This class was different. Not only did I get a ass-kicking workout, but the teacher spoke such profound words that deeply resonated with me. At the end of class I felt a sense of peace unlike any bliss I had ever felt before.
From that moment I was drawn to continue practicing yoga. With every Exhale on the mat I learned how to release the tension in my body. The more I practiced, the more present I felt. I began to feel a sense of peace, a sensation that kept me coming back. With practice, that bliss started following me off the mat. That’s when I started on a new trajectory.
I realized I had to make some changes. I opened my heart to the possibility of a life so awesome I wouldn’t need a vacation from it. A life where I wouldn’t feel any difference between work and play. I was done being just a dreamer; I was ready to be a dream-doer. As I sat in silence, I began to see the deeper meaning of my life. It was through my yoga practice that I cultivated this connection to my whole self. I was inspired by yoga and grateful for all it had given me. I wanted to deepen my knowledge. I felt deeply thankful for that mystical Indian man for guiding me this way and becoming awakened.
I decided to do a yoga teacher training to deepen my knowledge, but the thought of teaching terrified me. I registered for my first 200 hour training to study at evenings and weekends, allowing me to continue working on my marketing job during the weekdays. I struggled not having enough time to dive deep into my yogic studies. It seemed all other students also had busy lives outside the training, and felt no deep connection with anyone. The energy of the trainers and students felt like ‘let’s get this done and go home.’ After graduation I didn’t feel confident to teach yoga, so was still not interested in teaching myself.
I started dreaming of creating a sanctuary for people to come to, for them to find relief and release. That’s when I opened up a Yoga, Pilates & Dance Studio called “Exhale” in the heart of busy downtown Vancouver. I hired like-hearted teachers to teach, and I ran the studio. It was incredible to see students' energies shift from walking into the studio stressed, spending 1 hour releasing that tension, then leaving glowing with a genuine smile.
Exhale Studio had the most inspiring authentic yoga teachers, but often teachers would need a sub so I filled in sometimes. I’d always doubt myself and eventually I knew I wanted to do another teacher training. This time though, I knew it had to be immersive. I wanted to dive deep into the essence of yoga, without any distractions of work and relationships. I did tonnes of research but couldn’t find a training that resonated with my heart.
A vision of my dream training became more vivid and slowly, slowly, it all came together. For years, I worked designing the program, figuring out the marketing, and putting together a dream team of teacher trainers. Then it was realized. On the first day of the first Exhale Yoga Teacher Training I sat in circle with the trainers and all the students got goosebumps feeling that this was exactly where I was meant to be, with a tribe of other like-hearted yogis and truth seekers.
Always seeking to evolve, besides taking my own trainings organized with my dream teachers, I took one of my greatest inspirations Shiva Rea’s trainings. With now about 1000+ training hours, I felt full with passion and ready to share everything that has helped me heal and change my life for the better. This is when I focused my heart offering Retreats, to make our journey of life more enjoyable, turning our moments of fleeting happiness into lasting moments of bliss. I started designing a life-enhancing program to implement into the retreat classes to connect deeper to yourself and others. The transformation I witnessed in retreaters in just one week, was mind-blowing and heart-opening! Offering Exhale Yoga Retreats is living my dream.